ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
True love is choosing the same person every day.
They're choosing, daily, whether to mention your chewing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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