ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your resting heart rate is excellent.
It's had nothing else to do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- In three generations, nobody will remember your name. You don't know your great-grandmother's, so…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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