ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
In three generations, nobody will remember your name.
You don't know your great-grandmother's, so it's only fair.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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