ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good. The studio has a…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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