ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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