ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your inbox reached zero once. The server was down. You were briefly free and…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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