ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years.
He has, however, given out about forty.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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