ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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