ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
True love is choosing the same person every day.
They're choosing, daily, whether to mention your chewing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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