ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call yourself "a bit of a foodie".
You've ordered the same chicken 64 times this year. The driver knows your dog's name.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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