ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Children are a blessing.
They're also why the remote is in the bin and your savings are in the past tense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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