ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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