ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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