ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline.
It has the growth rate of a fern in a windowless bathroom, and about the same future.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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