ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've "romanticised your life".
It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main character". The rent is still due, in a minor key.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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