ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got a houseplant to "take care of something".
It died. Even the plant had better boundaries than you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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