ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your friends' group chat went quiet.
It didn't. They made a new one. Same name, one fewer person.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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