ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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