ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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