ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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