ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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