ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You film "Sunday reset" videos.
By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Disrupt the industry. The industry will disrupt you back, then buy your logo for…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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