ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Remember when you stayed up late on purpose?
Now you're up at 3am because your knee filed a complaint.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- Clear-coding means stating your intentions up front. Hers was "I have a hard stop…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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