ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They say sweat is weakness leaving the body.
Yours has decided to stay.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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