ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You "grew out of" your old friends.
They grew out of waiting for you to reply.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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