ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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