ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
A good night out now means home by ten.
Nobody had to come and get you. Nobody offered.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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