ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your friends' group chat went quiet.
It didn't. They made a new one. Same name, one fewer person.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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