ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you're "built different".
You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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