ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 27 MARCH 2024
Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.
The printer has better job security.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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