ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 23 MARCH 2024
Things will look better in the morning.
No. They'll just be better lit.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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