ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're ageing like a fine wine.
Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark, away from people.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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