ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday is a perfectly normal day.
You've got about two thousand more of them. Count them.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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