ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees are getting different memos now, mostly from a specialist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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