ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback.
It cost three new cards and a Sunday. You get roughly 4,000 Sundays. That was one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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