GREAT MUDSWORTH —
A Great Mudsworth father who found £38 of Roblox purchases on his bank statement has been told by his nine-year-old son that the money “didn’t count” because it had been turned into Robux first.
Mark Ellery, 41, noticed eleven small payments while checking whether his phone bill had gone out. “They were all tiny,” he said. “£4.99, £4.99, £2.99. Like a dripping tap. A dripping tap that wanted a hat.”
His son, Alfie, said the purchases were for a virtual pet, two outfits and “a sword that everyone has”. Asked why he had spent real money, Alfie explained that he had not. “I spent Robux,” he said. “Robux aren’t money. Robux are Robux.”
Ellery admitted the argument was hard to beat. “He’s not wrong about how it feels,” he said. “That’s the problem. It doesn’t feel like money to him. It didn’t feel like money to me either, until I saw it in pounds.”
A spokesperson for the invented Federation of Imaginary Currencies said in-game coins were “a simple, fun way to enjoy premium content”, adding that “the less it feels like spending, the more fun everyone has, especially the finance team”.
Ellery has now set up spending limits and a password, which took eleven minutes.
The sword cost more than his lunch.
This article is satire. The people, places, quotes and studies described are fictional.