ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You quit your job to "find yourself".
Found you. You're on your parents' sofa, and the Wi-Fi password has been changed.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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