UPPER WIDDLECOMBE —
An Upper Widdlecombe man who spent £400 on an ergonomic gaming chair has been seen sitting on it like a frog, with both feet on the seat and his knees near his chin, for the eleventh consecutive evening.
Ben Sallow, 31, bought the chair after watching a review that described it as “a game changer for posture”. It has adjustable lumbar support, 4D armrests, a neck pillow and 14 settings for recline and tilt. Sallow has used none of them.
“I’ve adjusted it once,” Sallow said. “It went too far back and I saw the ceiling. Since then I’ve just sort of crouched. It’s comfy. It’s a crouch with a lot of padding.”
The chair is marketed under the slogan “Built for champions”, which an invented brand spokesperson defended. “Every customer has the potential to be a champion,” he said. “Whether they sit correctly is, frankly, not our department. Our department is sales.”
Posture specialist Dr Paul Hendry said most gaming chairs are sold on the idea of being a professional. “People aren’t buying a chair. They’re buying the version of themselves who sits on it properly, plays every night and has a better back. That person doesn’t exist. The chair arrives anyway.”
Sallow is now looking at a £180 footrest.
He will put his feet on the chair.
This article is satire. The people, places, quotes and studies described are fictional.