ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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