ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback.
It cost three new cards and a Sunday. You get roughly 4,000 Sundays. That was one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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