ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Listen to your body.
It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been asking for eleven years.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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