ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Opposites attract.
Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the other finally sets it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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