ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You wanted a mini-me.
You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost to you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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