ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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