ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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