ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The battle pass costs £9.99 a season.
Your childhood cost nothing and had better rewards.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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