ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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