ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Limited-time event. Will not return.
Neither will your Saturday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- The pothole is on the list. The list is dynamic. The pothole is permanent.
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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