ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch.
Quiet budgeting is going anyway, checking your balance in the car and moving retirement to 79.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- The pothole is on the list. The list is dynamic. The pothole is permanent.
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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