ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both sides declared victory.
The only clear loser was your Tuesday evening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- You started a podcast with your mate “for a laugh”. Episode 31 has nine…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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